Tyler: Shazam

So I recently sent out a short story to a magazine, something of which I will be doing much more in the near future. I'll let you know the results in the 6-8 months it takes for a response.

Tyler: Zoom X3

Today, Roger came back from his class with a Tickle Me Elmo dressed in Power Rangers underwear. He asked if I wanted to play with him. I did not.

Tyler: Zoom 2

When I got home from class today I opened the door to find Roger lounging on the couch with his shirt off rubbing baby oil on his chest and watching some movie. I asked what he was watching. It was The Notebook.

Tyler: Zoom Zoom Zoom

Today, Roger told me he was going to dress up as slave Princess Leia as a belated birthday present to me. I never asked him to. I don't even like Star Wars...

Tyler: Based On A True Story

So I've been thinking lately, I'd really like a lot of movies to open with the phrase 'Based on a True Story.' I thought this first whilst watching Batman Begins recently. I love the thought of that movie starting with that phrase and having everyone check out wikipedia immediately afterward to see if there was an actual batmanny kind of guy. The beauty, of course, is that 'Based on a True Story' is a promise of nothing and therefore could be a completely innacurate claim while stile inferring as much. Wonderful.


This is a passage from the book formally known as DoubleBook. It is my list as I have it now but I am more than open to suggestions and amendments for the list. Simply put, it is concert rules by which to live. Get down.


1. You may not wear the t-shirt of the band you are going to see. We know you like the band; you’re at their fucking show. Also, if you do buy a shirt at the concert from the band you may not wear it for three days. And for Christ’s sake, under no circumstances can you put it on at the show. You’re embarrassing everyone.
2. You cannot listen to the music of the artist you are about to see for at least three days prior to the concert but a week prior is your best bet. Don’t ask why, you just can’t.
3. Don’t yell out ‘Free Bird.’ There is always the off chance they know ‘Free Bird’ and will play it. Don’t put the rest of us through that.
4. You know what, don’t yell out for any song. Have you ever been to a show where someone yelled for a song and the band stopped, looked around, and said, ‘Hey, you know what? That’s a pretty good idea. Let’s do that.’ No, it’s never happened.
5. You’re cousin doesn’t know the band. I don’t want to hear it. Shut the fuck up.
6. Holding your lighter up during a song is wonderful. Holding your cell phone up? You’re just a douche bag.
7. Girls: feel free to show us your tits but be classy about it. Bouncing is classy. Shaking from side to side is not. And if they’re saggy and/or disfigured, thanks but we’ll be alright.
8. This is by far the most important and most intangible rule. Don’t be That Guy. That Guy will always be around, just don’t let it be you.

Tyler: Affected, Conscious, Miscellaneous

Driving in my car today I thought if I could be described in three words they would be affected, conscious, and miscellaneous but not necessarily in that order. I am affected by the human condition. I am not unconscious of my surroundings. Fucking Miscellany.

It is April and it is snowing and I am uncomfortable. This is all unrelated though (not to each other but to the point of what Roger and I are trying to accomplish here).

Writing, fucking writing.

This coming week we are to meet with a man I know simply as Mike 3.0. We will discuss and hopefully map out the first issue of our (I hate this fucking word) zine. We have articles written along with little mini article things. It will not serve the same purpose as this as we will not print our works of fiction. Articles will be written as they come to us with no sense of plot and little sense of purpose. It will contain linear thoughts on Columbus and our lives that will hopefully connect in some manner to the lives of the readers. It will also bear the name Death by Dragonry and it will kick your ass.

Tyler: Inside Roger's Head

I am currently sitting across from Roger on our DoubleCouch. He just finished telling me about a girl in one of his classes who is on the OSU synchronized swimming team. He then made the (probably sound) reasoning that there is a good chance she is on the national synchronized swimming team in which case she would most assuredly have a gold medal or two. Roger, in his infinitely quest for a higher education, devulged that during class he dreams about having sex with her whilst she is wearing her gold medals. Great, right? Even better, the dream sequence ends with the girl taking off the gold medal and giving it to him. After that, I don't know, maybe there's a podium in the corner of the room. God bless America.