Tyler: Zero

Good evening America. How the shit are you? That’s cool. Really? Well, whose was it to begin with? Thank god you had a gun. Yeah. I know. Anyway, shit has gone down in the past couple days. Not bad or anything, just kind of generic shit.

Lets see, I guess most importantly I got my first rejection letter today from a literary agency. I sent a letter giving some quick information with four stories attached. I found the entire process interesting. You know what, I’m just going to post it here. You’re welcome. I hope you enjoy it too.

Tyler-
Thanks for your query. Your style and my taste are not a match. I hope you take that in as though I'd written "I prefer Indian food over Italian." I think your writing is yet a little raw and not yet ready for publication, but that's just my opinion. If you query ten agents, you're bound to get at least 12 opinions. Some offer conflicting opinions so that whether you fail or succeed, they can say "I knew that!"

The key is just to find the right agent to champion your work. While I am not the guy, there are a bejillion agents, maybe 1.5 bejillion.

My advice for future queries would be to eliminate the extraneous and self-effacing framing devices. You don't have to underline your newness to the process. That doesn't make the work any more sellable.

Just tell what the book is in a cogent way. State who the readers are and any evidence that there's a number of such people. And give a brief bio that makes you seem like a PR machine.

I wish you well.

I mean, I’d be far more mad about it all but he was so fucking nice about it. I like it though because it gave some pretty good advice. So here’s the score as of now, Literary World: 1. Tyler Yearling Hively: 0
Alright Literary World, lets do this fucking thing.

For all you Ohio fans out that, I mean the state itself, I got an Ohio tattoo today on the front of my bicep just above the crease in my elbow. It’s just an outline with a star for Columbus, simple really, but I think it’s fucking incredible. Does anyone else love Ohio? I know there’s more of us.

Ok, so one last thing, Roger and I are trying to get together a writers workshop. So far it’s just us and two friends but I believe we’re looking for more. If anyone is interested or knows anyone who’s interested please let one of us know. Also, please don’t suck at writing. Because we don’t. And we will think less of you if you do. That is all, America.