Tyler: The Beginning Continued

Hi, is this your first time? Yeah, me too. I always thought my first time would be more intimate…

Right, so my name’s Tyler and I live here in beautiful Columbus, Ohio with my buddy Roger. We’re 21 to 22 depending on when you read this and to whom you’re talking. We’re both fairly close to graduating from our respective universities with degrees in film and English. It’s all very, very exciting. So basically I’m trying to write books and Roger is trying to write movies. I imagine we’ll be posting things we’ve written here so, you know, go ahead and humor us and read it.

I refuse to post a generic, drawn out survey going over everything from our eye color to the streets we grew up on so, since I have Roger sitting conveniently across from me, I’m going to conduct a survey of my own with pertinent information.

Best Drunk Moment?
Roger: Everytime I make a woman fall in love with me
Tyler: Halloween party at Roger’s a couple years ago. I had eight shots of Maker’s Mark. Smoked a bowl. Won a game of flip cup and passed out all in 30 minutes.

Favorite Video Game?
R: Chrono Trigger
T: Any and every Pokemon RPG game

Favorite Movie?
R: Oldboy
T: Say Anything

Favorite Book?
R: Jude The Obscure
T: Women

Greatest Pop (Soda if you’d like to pretend you’re not from Ohio) Ever Created?
R: Dr. Pepper is my favorite SODA
T: Sunkist till I die

Favorite Soccer Team?
R: Liverpool
T: Team Massive (aka Columbus Crew)

Favorite Football Team?
R: Baltimore Ravens
T: The Heartbreaking Cleveland Browns

Baseball Sucks.

Strangest Pickup Line You've Used That Worked?
R: You look like you're ready to make some bad decisions
T: Oh, really? That's very interesting. Tell me more.

Least Prized Possession?
R: Entire wardrobe
T: The third pillow on my bed

Worst Drunk Moment?
R: Repeatedly embarrassing myself to the point where I wake up and can’t stop blushing
T: Never a bad moment while drunk. It’s the sober moments that bring me down.

Biggest Fear?
R: Working in the service industry forever
T: Having to work for a living

Smallest Fear?
R: Anything with more than 6 legs
T: Tiny, tiny Vikings

Fun Fact About You:
R: I can crack every bone in my body
T: I have a twinkle in my right eye. For real.

Favorite Joke?
R: What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute? A prostitute will stop fucking you when you're dead.
T: What's brown and sticky? A stick.

Greatest Invention?
R: Antibiotics, no wait and being able to turn on your video game system with your controller
T: Pokeballs

Greatest American?
R: Teddy Roosevelt is the most American American (Take from that what you will)
T: Jesus

You First Saw A Playboy When You Were 11 In Your Friend Stephen’s Basement, Right?
R: What?
T: Yes

Favorite Food?
R: Calamari
T: Something Italian, maybe. Certainly something with breadsticks.

Second Favorite TV Show?
R: Venture Brothers
T: It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia

Favorite Swear?
R: Cunt
T: Fucking Hell

Greatest Band That No One You Know Listens To?
R: Van Morrison
T: Two Gallants

Your Greatest Halloween Costume?
R: Faith from ‘Mirror’s Edge’ (It hadn’t come out yet)
T: Stay Puff Marshmallow Man

Strangest Gift You’ve ever Received?
R: Four of my aunts bought me the same Star Wars book
T: Paraffin Wax Set

Story You Haven’t Written Yet?
R: Story about a squatter punk
T: The four months following December 2002

Helen Mirren 1-10?
R: 10
T: Dime piece

Strangest Place You’ve Ever Slept?
R: Underneath a makeshift table outside a friends house in the middle of February because I didn’t want to sleep with the girl I’d just had sex with
T: An MRI machine

Afro Samurai. Your Thoughts?
R: It’s the most perfect use of teddy bears in anything ever
T: Coolest shit ever

Most Underrated Movie?
R: Miller’s Crossing
T: ATL. It’s the most Shakespearian thing I’ve ever seen.

Why Do We Have An Appendix?
R: I don’t know. Probably had something to do with digestion.
T: Life would be too boring if there was nothing inside us that might blow up at any time.

Meanest Thing Someone’s Ever Said To You?
R: You know, you really don’t have to try that hard
T: No wonder you’re crippled (Oh, I’m paralyzed by the by)

Greatest Purchase You Ever Made At A Thrift Store?
R: Shirt with a double-buttoned collar straight out of the 70’s
T: Either my brown polyester button-up or my typewriter

Can You Believe It’s Not Butter?
R: You know what, I can’t
T: No, I cannot

Describe Yourself In Three Words.
R: Observant, Accurate, Pale
T: Jackhammer, President, Soothing

Thing You Hate To Admit You Like.
R: Attention
T: Spooning. Big and little.

Which Of The Following Are Real? Bigfoot. Aliens. The Constitution. Loch Ness Monster. Mothman. Zombies.
R: No. Yes. Depends. I wish it was real more than most things in life. What the fuck is the Mothman? Depends of your definition of zombie, if the bird flu reaches epidemic levels and causes people to kill other people for food then yes.
T: Yes. Yes. Sometimes. No. No. That’s fucking stupid.

Favorite Song To Dance To At The Bar?
R: Junior Senior: Move Your Feet
T: Any Justin Timberlake. I love that shit.

Favorite Kind Of Underwear On A Girl?
R: Boyshorts
T: Lacy boyshorts

Shit, Do We Need Bread?
R: Didn’t you buy bread?
T: Yeah, I think I did.


So, yeah, that about covers it. I hope this thing doesn’t suck. I realize the focus of this entry, indeed this blog in general, is a bit clusterfucked but maybe we can eventually work that out. Or not.